There’s nothing wrong with strutting your stuff in a bikini, if you know how to handle yourself on the beach.
It’s ‘Swinter’ here in California and we’re hanging out at the pool today talking about boys, bringing in more dollar bills, and screwing the top off a bottle of pink champagne . Cheers!
Ungenita was telling me about the time she was hired to be a “Bikini Wash Girl” in the movie “Dude Where’s My Car”. Let’s just say before Ashton Kutcher married Demi and impregnated Mila Kunis, he was hanging out with U.P. (it was strictly business of course) .
You’re probably wondering what the heck does a Bikini Wash Girl do? Basically, you have to wash guys’cars in a bikini with soap, suds, and water flying from a hose, but you CAN’T get wet. You have to ask Ungenita about her day on the set in the LBC (Long Beach City) and what Ashton was like before he became a big Hollywood star. So leave it up to Ungenita to come up with another over-the-top, crazy metaphor…(the left side and the right side of her brain are tangled again…lol). Relationship advice from a girl on a #ManFreeDiet (Let’s see if she cheats on her diet this week).
Her theory goes, “when you meet a guy, splash him, but don’t get wet”. Huh? Well what we’re talking about here is making an entrance, but always having one foot out the door, standing behind the hose until HE decides it’s time to make the plunge and submerge the relationship in water. Too many times we come in and BANG! We splash, we get wet, and then we drown and end up gasping for air to feel good again.
Enter like no girl has done before. This is not about being needy, thirsty and handing over your assets. It’s about being confident, soft,powerful and feminine.
The hose is in your hands and you never relinquish control.
If it’s a HOT guy, you want to splash him really good.
He wants to play but you’re only there to parade how fearless and fabulous you are. BE YOU. Some guys know how to bring out the best in you. Take advantage, splash him by showing him the real YOU.
Oh and if you happen to get wet, dry off really fast, but this time be more matter-of-fact. Get in, get out, and if need be, get over it.
So..how do you NOT get wet you ask? It’s all about control …
Rock The Boat
Baby Girl Aaliyah said it best. “Work the middle. Change positions. Stroke it for me”. I know she’s talking about something A LITTLE bit different, but the same rules apply. “Work the middle” by being an asset and NOT a liability. That means rock your independence… never (EVER)become dependent. Make that money girl, and be in control of where it goes.Sure, he’s allowed to be a gentlemen, nothing wrong with a lot of wine AND dine…but for the most part, don’t relinquish your financial independence.
Don’t empty your pockets OR your heart! Keep yourself FULL at all times. “Change positions” by keeping things fun and fresh … Be unpredictable! Don’t let him get comfortable with you. Keep changing things up and you’ll stay on board!“Stroke it for me”…well…STROKE his … ego! What did you think I was going to say? Get your mind out of the gutter! Oh…and can you grab mine on the way up too please? Haha.
But for real, stroking his ego will keep him coming back for more and make him feel like a MAN. You’ll make a huge SPLASH by doing so. Be flirtatious, compliment often, and tease! A little dirt don’t hurt! Because a REAL confident woman will LOOK HOT and LIFT her man up.., so show him your POWER and you will be skiing above water fora very long ride. Just don’t EVER let that boat rope pull you under. And if you fly off, do it with style and finesse. But after you SPLASH, paddle your heart out to keep afloat until you can climb back up on that boat to ROCK IT again!