The “Love Library”
It’s Friday, I don’t have a date (by choice), I’m home with #PoshPetRocky aka the longest man I’ve been with to date and I’m curled up in my sleigh bed with a book. Not just any book but one from my coveted collection of dating books . I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve read all the books and tried all the rules (broke a few, okay maybe more than a few) BUT because I’m a #SmartyPants and firmly believe, there’s always room to take my IQ up a few notches, this inquiring mind wants to know MORE! Plus, I think it’s important to get another perspective, and the scenarios presented in most dating books can actually be quite uplifting when you learn other girls are going through similar situations.
If you’re anything like me, after each roadblock you hit in the dating world, you’re probably thinking, “Is It Me?” Let me be the first to tell you, IT’S NOT YOU! Sometimes it might be what you’re doing, OR what you’re saying. But at the end of the day “It’s All of Us” because dating wasn’t on the list of subjects to study in school and clearly it takes more than #StreetSmarts too.
So if your goal is to master dating in your 20s or be married in your 30’s. Take it from a girl who speaks from experience and not just theory. Been there, done that, still learning from my mistakes and managed to garner a few proposals and sashay down the aisle once. But, today I have a full understanding that a Vera Wang Wedding gown won’t necessarily lead to “Living Happily Ever After”. It’s far more valuable to marry yourself and fall in love with your own life. Model #SleepingBeauty every night, instead of staying up late stressing about a guy that may or may not be into you.
Here you go, in no particular order:
It’s A Breakup Not a Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good!
I had the pleasure of meeting Author Lisa Steadman in my women ‘s group many years ago and loved her no-nonsense dating advice, not to mention, she’s a Relationship Expert that walks her talk. If you’re going through a breakup, we all have a tendency to fall apart because the guy we gave our “Safe Deposit Box” to, took the key and clearly didn’t value what was inside. He’s NOT worth days of crocodile tears. Give yourself a day or two to be overly dramatic (WHY????????), but that’s it. Lisa says congratulate the breakup and have a Movin’ on Party.
I hope I’m invited. I’ll bring the Pink Champagne!
Are You the One for Me: Knowing Who’s Right and Avoiding Who’s Wrong
Do you know why you keep attracting the wrong guys? How do you meet the right one if you don’t know who the right one is? Sometimes we think we know what we want but it’s not what we actually need. It was definitely a light bulb moment for me and what led me to more qualified candidates. Get ready for a journey of self-discovery. I don’t particularly agree with everything the author says but her 2 cents will save you time, money and protect your “Safe Deposit Box.”
The Man Plan: Drive Men Wild– Not Away
I can vividly remember the day I walked down the aisle at Borders Bookstore (sad to see their doors close), and I couldn’t help but notice a zebra print book cover. You know I have a thing for animal print, so I decided to try it on and popped opened the sleeve and learned the book was authored by none other than Journalist & Glam Girl, Whitney Casey, and in her book, she’s interviewed Hollywood Celebrities and some of the world’s most influential men including the late Steve Jobs & P. Diddy. She gives dating advice from the inside/out: How to look, how to act, how to enter and how to exit. I just love her wild approach!
Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment
Buyer beware: the guy looks good in the store window but if you make a purchase he will probably fall apart the minute you take him out of the bag. Why waste your time buying defective merchandise. If you suffer from “Bad Boy Syndrome” this book will teach you a thing or two about how to avoid getting “Hoodwinked” and adhere to high standards. Don’t discount yourself and sell yourself short, make better buying decisions and you’ll end up with a quality product! Plus, Steve Harvey will not only make you think differently about dating, but he will make you laugh out loud, too!
1001 Ways to Be Romantic: Now Completely Revised and More Romantic Than Ever
If you want the butterflies to last past 101 days this book gives you some fabulous ideas! Some are ritzy, while others adhere to our PoshONPennies ® principals. I’m sentimental and think it’s “A-okay” to leave a guy a note in his car (after he’s committed 1001% to YOU), post a sticky note in his closet (when you’re in a monogamous relationship) or send him a “To Do List” with 3 things that you want to do for him (not necessarily naughty~think thoughtful and nice too), “Mr. Right Now” would call it creating special moments.
The Seven Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make
You know my motto: Brains & Beauty go hand in hand, but every once in a while a relationship can cause us to loose our minds (I take full responsibility for my actions). Ever feel like you’re crazy? Admit it, you’ve done something that was so out of character your girlfriend gave you the #SideEye ~ laughed and thought you were making it up. If you want to start your relationship off on the right track this book gives you delicious ingredients for a healthy relationship. The chapter on Communication will show you how to “Spark the Talk” with a guy. #SmartPhone not included!
He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
Never take dating advice from a guy unless he’s a writer from a hit TV show about 4 single women (Sex & the City). I’m joking; in fact I think it’s extremely important to seek advice from those that walked the path before us. It reminds me of the days I’d call my male friends to ask them about a guy I was loosing my mind over. They told me the whole truth and nothing but the truth. We unconsciously crave #SugarCoated advice but it often leads to sour (sometimes bitter) feelings inside. Greg’s candid nature might be hard to swallow but he’ll save you a lot of time, heartache and cure you of “Excusitis” because if he’s not into you, Greg says “Don’t Waste the Pretty.” I’ve always loved that phrase!
The Soul mate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction
By: Arielle Ford
This book could easily be mistaken for airy fairy foo-foo woo-woo nonsense but if you believe in “The Law of Attraction” and that you can truly manifest the desires in your heart then you will understand Arielle’s take on the process. Get your life in order; Get your house in order, Get busy doing what you need to do and then you can place your (man) order. Like attracts like!
Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
This one should definitely be in the dating book hall of fame. This book has sparked many conversations and has set precedence in the dating world because of the classic advice, yet still having a modern appeal. I think it still holds value today because technology has reduced the speed of our lady like traits. We’re in a “Tech Trance” and can feel like the guys going to forget about us if we don’t text 3 times a day, talk to him once or twice a day, like his status update on Facebook and find a cute hash-tag (#BeMine) for him on Twitter but sometimes it’s too much because no matter what era, guys will be guys and prefer “to be on the hunt instead of on the capture”.
Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dream girl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
It’s not nice to be called the “B” word and if you can’t handle that I’m Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Creative AND Honest, I’ll find someone who can. This book is not about being a mean girl or playing too hard to get. It’s a fact that some girls have a tendency to lose themselves when a guy enters the picture (Ooh, been there, done that, standing firm to never do it again). It’s Carte Blanche to be assertive, make your well- being a top priority and if you should so desire to bend over backwards for a guy, then he better be bending over backwards AND doing handstands for you too.